Fear

I'm afraid of dying. Big time. If I'm not careful and let myself spiral out of control mentally, then I can go into a full-blown panic attack. The thoughts of uncertainty, lack of control, and inability to understand this world can start fueling the most negative and intrusive thoughts. 

This is how anxiety works. IT begins with fear. My best friend, Fabi, spoke directly to my fear and I think the same can be true for all fear- fear is an evolutionary response that gives us data about the environment we're currently in and if it's posing a danger to our life. When the data we are receiving is not congruent to our environment, (i.e. I'm on a plane and feeling very afraid and anxious even though the flight attendants are passing out drinks and the skies are a clear and radiant blue) then anxiety starts to take root in our lives. 

Fear and anxiety are prominent in our culture now more so than ever before. Our country is being polarized and fear is at the center. Fear tells us not to take risks, not to trust in others, and not to hope for a future. 

So how do we combat fear? How can we grow in bravery?

Mindfulness

I've written about mindfulness before, but for this post, I'd like to dive deeper into why mindfulness is so crucial. Mindfulness is the practice of engaging and being present in everyday life. When we are experiencing fear, being in the present is not possible because we're actively fearing whatever we think may or may not happen. If someone is afraid of being rejected then they won't be engaged in the conversation they are having with friends because they're second-guessing everything they say or doubting the strength of their friendships. Fear successfully takes us out of the moment and drops us into a space where we can no longer have control because we are outside of ourselves. Mindfulness helps keep us grounded and actively engaging with the now. Because that's all we have really.  
    One mindfulness technique I've come to enjoy is walking meditation. In this form of mindfulness, you bring awareness to how you're interacting with normal activities of the day. Sometimes when I start getting anxious while I'm driving, I'll start mindfully counting. I start with 1, then recite 1...2, then 1...2...3, and I go up to 10. I learned about this nifty technique through an article on Mindfulness in Counseling Today. 

Thought Challenging

Once we're fully engaging in the present moment, challenging our thoughts can combat our fears. If the fear is, "I'm going to end up single and sad for the rest of my life", one might challenge those thoughts by using my favorite question: "What all would I have to know to confirm this thought without a doubt?" In this case, you'd have to know that we have access to technology that allows us to travel to the future, be able to see our 90-year-old self, and see with our own eyes that you ended up single and sad. You'd also have to interview this future self to know that there was never a moment you were in a relationship with someone and there was never a moment you were happy. If you can't find evidence that is infallible to support your fear, then your fear can be challenged. When we challenge our thoughts, we can leverage uncertainty and find comfort in it rather than fear. Who knows if you're going to end up single? What are you missing out on while you're worrying about it? The hottest creature of all creation could walk right past you because you were so focused on being so scared of missing them. Irony. 

Bibliotherapy

Reading about how others overcome their fears is inspirational to me. There are hundreds of dozens of books that give testimony to the benefits of courage and bravery. Books that give us evidence to refute our fears. A couple of books that have really served me through this time of conquering fear have been Daring Greatly by Brene Brown (she's like the psychology of Beyonce) and Fearless by Max Lucado (this one is a faith-based book). Reading is also an act of mindfulness because for the moment, I'm focusing on the words on the page. I'm internalizing and connecting with the message I'm reading. It's constant ammunition for my fear-based thoughts. 

Reading how others experience and conquer fear helps us believe that we can conquer fear as well. And if reading isn't your thing, I encourage you to talk about your fears with close friends. Someone you know is either battling with a similar fear or has overcome a fear themselves. 

Hope

Hope casts out fear. If we can find hope and joy in life, then there's no logical reason for fear because we know there's something better out there on the other side. Psychology Today, a pretty dope resource for therapists, published an article on the use of hope in therapy. Hope when put through the rigors of the scientific method, was related to higher GPA, more divergent thinking, and better performance. "People with hope have both the will and the pathways and strategies necessary to achieve their goals."

Spirituality can be a wonderful vehicle for hope. It helps us channel the burden back to the universe through whatever belief system we rest in. Just knowing that there are mechanisms of the universe that promise that ultimately everything will be okay, is enough for me to hope in the future.

So this is my resolution for 2017, to turn fear into hope.