Acceptance and Action

One morning in my 4th-grade classroom, my teacher turned on the TV to a news station. What we were witnessing was the beginning of an incredibly dark and heavy period in our nation. My mom picked me up from school, we spent the whole day reaching out to relatives in New York, praying we wouldn't hear the worst. I was so young and naive to the "bad stuff" in this world, and something in my chest felt bad for the next few weeks.

Yesterday, I woke up with the same pain and hurt in my chest. A second event took place that mirrors the dread and despair that I felt the day my hometown was attacked. Our country chose to elect a person that largely represents fear, terror, and hate. Creating a safe place for clients over the past couple of days has not been easy. Scrolling through social media feeds has been all the more difficult. Before you keep reading I want you to know, this post isn't about excusing the behavior, or telling people what they should feel or how they should react. This is me, a counselor-in-training making sense of what it feels like to live and work in this new world. One of which I have to accept. 

Radical acceptance is a hallmark concept in Dialectical Behavior Therapy or DBT. Basically, the concept is based on the logical conclusion that the events or experiences we face happen because they should. Usually, the example given when teaching this to clients is around a little boy getting hit by a car while on his bike. But today, I'll use the election. 

Donald Trump should have become president because he won the majority of electoral votes and in this country, that's how people become president. This is the fundamental idea behind radical acceptance: everything is as it should be because everything has a cause. Bringing awareness to the causes (Donald Trump exceeded 270 votes; etc.) helps us accept the reality of the situation (this man, is our new president). Does this mean we have to be okay with it? HELL NO. I'm sure as hell not. Hell freaking hell no of all the hells. 

But what radical acceptance does, help us get unstuck from the suffering (according to DBT, Pain+Nonacceptance= Suffering) that comes with being unable to cope and move forward and launch us into action. And now, more than ever, we need to take action. 

So, for the sake of our mental well-being and the well-being of others, I ask each person that reads this post, even if it's just the average 25-30 people, to be intentional about showing love to the people that are marginalized in this country. If you feel like there's no such thing as marginalization, then you may need to radically accept that racism and discrimination are still running rampant in the land of the free. Advocate for those who don't have the same privilege as you do. Write to your representatives, donate to social justice organizations, show up and break bread with those unlike yourself. VALIDATE THE FEAR AND HURT PEOPLE ARE EXPERIENCING. If you see something, then for the love of creation, say something!  

My job is not to help people feel better. My job is to guide others in building a life worth living. And it's difficult to create that life if you're met with hate and intolerance and oppression. 

Radical acceptance helps us solve problems without having to be okay with the fact that the problem is there in the first place. Therefore, for all the problems that come with the future, remember that the problem should have happened because there were causes involved, and then decide to take action the best way you can. 

For information on how to advocate for marginalized communities, click here. 

Take care of each other. Please.